You become what you think you are

In my workshops and individual coaching sessions, I ask delegates in a particular exercise to write down a few statements of how they would describe themselves. I receive responses like:

  • “I am not confident”;
  • “I am not a speaker”; and
  • “I am a shy person, it takes time for me to get to know you.”


In order for other people to see you in a certain way, you first have to see yourself in that way. If you feel that other people think that you are shy, its perhaps because you have said to yourself that you are a shy person. What other people see in you is a projection of what you have been saying to yourself.

In order to change, you need to become the “gardener” in the mind of your thoughts and constantly “weed” out negative or self-deprecating thinking about yourself. Replace these thoughts with affirmative or positive thoughts – “I am a confident person,” – in time others will see it too!”

This process of negative projection is as a result of you conditioning your mind to think that you are not confident in certain situations. Your mind can be conditioned to think in a way that is constructive to your success or to think in a way that holds you back from achieving in life.

To constantly achieve success – on a regular basis – you should evaluate the thoughts about yourself and restate any negative beliefs into something more positive.

You become what you think you are.